Thursday, August 16, 2012

Moving on

I am only a simple women. Or to put it curtly I'm naive. I do not crave for riches or a luxury life. Stability and Security: that's all I ask for.

My house, place where it has become a home for the past 5 years is no longer mine. My house is being sold as an agreement on my part out of respect for your decision. Respect because I love you and I try to support your decision even though I do not agree with it.

Moving on in the beginning was brought on for the sake of my parents. Subsequently it became a need for better amenities and nearer distance traveling to JH's childcare. When everyone kept telling us not to confide ourselves to a limited area just because of JH's childcare, you were the one who reassure me of our decision for doing so. That our priority is to minimize as much stressors as possible when moving to a new house. And of course most important is the welfare of JH who has already settle happily and starting to forge his first friendship in the childcare centre.

Now it became a dream and investment for you in future should we need cash after been brain-washed by people around you telling you throw in your profit to go for an EC. Sure you make it sound very attractive and kept telling me the choice is mine. Yet you kept pushing me the idea of an EC. Now you even said to look for an EC in other areas with good amenities and childcare centre. Just transfer JH.

So what happened to the reassurance you gave me?

Where are the priorities you promise me when we are in the midst of searching for new unit?

Where is the importance of the welfare of your child you can so easily chuck aside and say just transfer for the sake of your EC?
When did you place me as an priority making sure I'm comfortable knowing I'm only a simple-minded person and yet kept pushing the idea of an EC to me again and again?

This is your dream. Not mine. Not the kids. You kept saying what you are doing is for our benefit. But have you ever accept what I want?

Suddenly you have become a stranger. I can't catch up with you. Are you moving too fast or am I too slow? You seem to become a stranger who sees all these tangible asset as a measure of your success and happiness.

Where is the "old" you who used to make me feel safe in the heart? The one I can always turn to when the world seems too much to handle.

Can you see what you are doing to me? Can you feel my despair over the lost of my home and the stress and fear of where my home will be?

Can you see that you are scaring me with that "new" you?

You can't seem to understand why I am so unhappy. I don't understand why have you become so ambitious. We can't seem to connect to one another anymore. I can't feel the warm of your touch or the gentle caress anymore.

If I could turn back the time, I truly wish I didn't agree to sell this house.


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